Tag: self discovery

Note to Self

As I write this, I remind both myself and anyone who reads this that this journal isn’t a way for me to take the “minutes” of my spiritual steps and missteps. Not every occurrence will be included here and not everything will be in chronological order, since the timing of one part of a story may be a long while before the next part. If I wrote about every moment, I couldn’t do anything else with my life but write and experience.

It could be that the universe would prefer that be the case, but at this time, I want to continue having a “normal” life. It’s part of that control thing and has to do with ego, for sure. I told myself I would go to college, make money, be successful and all that and the thought of walking away from what I have now is too much for me to be able to consider. Perhaps we’ll see that change as I become more comfortable and more knowledgeable and more… just more. And also (I’m being told in my head to include this line): and also more trusting that the universe will provide for its… warriors, soldiers, priestesses, shamans, messengers, teachers, etc. I put etc. because, really, there’s a list of roles running through my head that seems endless. I guess if you’re trying to change something as huge as the fate of the world, you need a lot of people working toward that common goal.

Again going back to the “I’m not alone” thing, I am certainly not alone in working toward that common goal. I am one of so many. And thank you to the divine for recruiting so many to do this work. The question: who else has the same tasks as I do? I so would love to connect with them. The reassurance and affirmation that I am doing the right thing would be so much appreciated.

Originally written on June 13, 2017


And so it began.

I started to receive messages from beings that were more powerful than ever before. I connected with them through meditation. And the universe wanted me to meditate for an hour every other day. And I refused. It was too much — more than I was ready or willing to give in my new role… as… something.

The first time I sat down to meditate with the intent of answering the call of the universe, an overwhelming light entered my mind’s eye. I was told that the one that had come to me is an Archangel.

“Michael?,” I questioned.


“Are you sure?”

“I am Gabriel, the Archangel,” the light said to me.

“Ga…briel? Not Michael?,” I thought. Honestly, I don’t know why Michael’s name was stuck in my head — maybe it’s because his name is the one that is most often associated with the term Archangel.

Archangel Gabriel, image from BeliefNet

“I. Am. Gabriel. The Archangel.” the light said.

Gabriel asked that I do something in its honor. A ceremony. And that I would know how and when and why and what. And that was the beginning.

I went down a rabbit hole of mobile research trying to understand this message. And I learned that Gabriel, a Saint, used to have a Feast Day that was dedicated solely the the Archangel’s honor, which had been changed to a shared Feast Day with Raphael and Michael.

It was coming. This sole Feast Day for Gabriel was coming. March 24. That was the day I had to do… something. It also turned out that it was Easter weekend, and so I felt in my heart that as long as I did the thing by Easter, I would do right.

Long story short, I went to Savers, felt compelled to thrust my hand into a shelf of brick-a-brack, and came upon a wooden piece of art. It was a painting on wood of the Mother Mary holding baby Jesus, adorned in gold leaf and etching. I bought it. I wish that I had taken a picture of it; it was creepy, but beautiful.

And after much deliberation about the where, in the middle of the night, I eventually ended up going with Lahi to Our Lady of Good Counsel, just up the street from my house. You’ll notice that their logo depicts exactly what was shown in the piece of art that I bought: Mother Mary holding baby Jesus.

The logo for Our Lady of Good Counsel, from their website.

Everything was strangely locked up because it was Easter weekend, but we found ourselves at an outdoor altar of the Mother Mary holding baby Jesus. Again, just like in the piece of art. I prayed, presented the gift of painted and gold adorned wood, and made an offering of water to the potted Easter lilies that surrounded the statue.

And it was right.

And Gabriel was satisfied.

And I didn’t understand it, but this was very clearly in line with what would become my role in life. My job description was becoming clearer.

I sent a text message to Leah a few weeks later.

2017 Text Log Screenshot-My Role-Gabriel

Originally written on June 11, 2017.