At some point after I got back from New Zealand, I reconnected with a friend, Titus Nakagawa. It’d been a few years since we really spent time together and as we spent more time together, it was clear that he was on the precipice of change.
I think that Titus and I have some kind of karmic bond; my mother took an instant liking to him, and for whatever reason — I’d like to say it’s something other than his +10 Charisma — I’ve always been drawn to him. Even though he knows I’m spiritual and believe in “thingies,” and we’ve shared in deep spiritual conversation before, I’ve always also felt hesitant to provide specifics of things like a spiritual journey. To me, it seemed his rational mind seemed to always want to reject or rationalize away a lot of what seems to many as “crazy-talk.” But in this reconnection, I shared with him all that happened in New Zealand and I think that in doing so, it set in movement or contributed to his own spiritual awakening.
At any rate, float. One morning, I woke up from a dream that was full of butterflies and I was bursting forth from a cocoon. Butterflies have always been a positive sign for me; I’ve chosen most of the apartments I’ve ever lived at because as I walked up to the front door, 2 butterflies flew in front of me. So as I went for my most-mornings dog walk, I decided to forego my usual music listening and instead, meditate on what my next steps should be for my spiritual journey and ask for guidance.
About halfway into my trip, about 20 minutes into my meditation, Dango (my pit bull fur baby) was stopping to smell the… something… and a sign appeared. A white monarch butterfly. I’ve lived in Hawaii most of my life and have seen hundreds of monarch butterflies in my lifetime, but never have they been white.
It looked like this.
It landed on the mailbox I was standing next to — and allowed me to touch it gently — then it flew away. I continued on my meditative walk with no more incident.
That afternoon, Titus called me to tell me about an experience that I must try. A sensory deprivation tank. A float tank. He gushed about what it was like and described the tank as a giant, white cocoon.
Clearly, this is what the universe was getting at, although I don’t think it’s usually that literal with its messages. In fact, it would be great if the messages came through that clearly all the time. 🙂
I eventually went to my first float tank experience at Dream Float Hawaii. There is a ton of info and data out there about what sensory deprivation tanks are and their benefits, so I won’t explain any of that here. Essentially, for me, I went into the experience with an open mind, open heart, and an open call to the universe — also, no expectations.
The float provided to me a lot of interesting feelings and sensations; even though it’s called a sensory deprivation tank since it “removes” your main five senses, your sixth sense (or whatever number) becomes heightened. Or at least, mine did.
I connected with a number of energies who all had one main message.
You are the light in the dark.
This has become a bit of a mantra for me, not that I think that I am any kind of savior or “only hope.” That’s not it. But it has become a strong reminder of the importance of the tasks set before me and to not lose sight of my “purpose.”
I am the light in the dark.
Also, my brain plays music. Loud, beautiful music. Where does it come from?! And when I left, I fucking cried. My eyes felt like they had been reset — the world sizzled with energy and magic, the way it had when I first opened my eyes after having been attuned to Reiki I. So the sky and the clouds and the arch of the street lights were fucking beautiful. And I cried.
My second float was less “strategy overview” and much more “tactical.” It was simply a list of items that the universe had asked that I do that I hadn’t done yet. One of them was “make the tuatara” that you saw in my previous post about tuataras. There are still a few items on that list that I haven’t done, yet. Working on it, universe.
Anyway, I’ve become a member of Dream Float Hawaii’s frequent floater club so that I can choose to go more often if I can make the time. I need to make the time. If any of you are interested in getting 20% your first 60-minute or 90-minute float booking, enter the code Chi. I figure that if you’re reading this and you’ve gotten this far into my introspective ramblings, that you might be interested in the kind of experience that a float affords. Try it. Blow your fucking mind.
Originally written June 14, 2017.