As a follow up to my last entry, OHM Expo: The Reading, I also wanted to share some of the messages that I got during my shared Light Alchemy session.

It’s always interesting to do a shared Light Alchemy session since you also share in the energy of the people you’re with — which means that your experience is influenced by their gifts. I had the honor of sharing the session with Lyndsey, my sister, Marisa, and some awesome woman whose name I didn’t catch.

I sort of use different methods to accomplish different things. I use meditation to receive messages to channel and to bring internal stillness. I use Floating to give dedicated, uninterrupted time to connect with my Spirit Team. And I use Light Alchemy sessions to receive messages mostly from my higher self and to especially gain clarity.

The messages I received were varied and partially influenced by the reading I received from Lali Kakar, as well as by some other information and signs I’d gotten in the week or so before. It’s been a while since this session, so I’m sure I’m missing a bunch of detail.

First, I want to share what I saw visually, aside from colors and kaleidoscopic patterns. I haven’t figured out the meanings to these visuals, but if any of you have a sense of what they might mean, please do reach out and let me know your impressions:

• I saw a door limned by those “Hollywood lights” you see in old-school movies surrounding dressing room vanity mirrors. I stepped through the door and was met with total darkness.
• I saw a woman’s feet walking in water. She was clearly walking in a river or stream, against the flow of the fast-running water. She was wearing red, the tail of whatever she was wearing dragging in the water.

I also received the following messages, in part in reaction to direct questions I asked.

Finding a Teacher

I asked how I can find the teachers that Lali mentioned in his reading. The response: They will come to you and be drawn to teach you. Even if you know that they may not know as much or are doing things incorrectly, accept them as a teacher and learn how not to do things.

As a follow-up, I asked about learning from books and asked for guidance about equal exchange (i.e. paying for the teachings). The response: You should no longer learn from books. Learn from your teachers. You may pay and you may stop paying when it no longer suits you.

I guess I’m not surprised by either of these answers. This could be why I haven’t finished any of the “magic” books I’ve ever received or purchased, although I’ve flipped through them all and found miscellaneous nuggets of (usually) relevant information. I also, on many occasions, have had people offer to take me on as a student and for the most part, have always been hesitant because I was either not sure of their intent or I could feel that they likely had a weaker connection to Source than I do. I wanted a teacher that I felt surpassed me in all ways. But I realize now that even if their connection or capability are different than mine, they still have something to teach and I still have tons to learn. I am not going to find my answers in a single mentor since I suspect that few people have traveled the path I’m walking and so wouldn’t have directly correlating experiences. I need to cobble together the teachings of many if I am going to be able to learn all that I can to make whatever it is happen.

The Coming Darkness

I also asked about what it means that the Darkness is Coming. I realize that this is the first time I’ve really written about this “darkness thing.” I think I’ve previously written about how I am not just the “Being of Light” that many magic workers are. I think this is why I can work with beings that others perceive to be “not of the Light.” And I received a message from my dear friend, Leah, about just this thing when I told her that my car had been vandalized a few months ago. Someone decided to break my rear windshield. When I had the glass replaced, the only glass available on the island for my car was tinted. None of the other glass in my car is. So when I told her about this, she mentioned that my car represents my vehicle of consciousness and that this breaking and replacing of the glass represented my consciousness being “upgraded.” She was very interested in the fact that the replacement glass was darker than what had previously been there. When I pushed her about what that means, she gave me a deeper reading that pretty much can be summed up with this text:

Whatever this means, I know this to be true. So in the session, I asked for more clarity on this. While I didn’t get a ton of information, what I did receive was: You are dark, but you are not all dark. You are more dark than light, but there is still balance. You are the light in the dark and your darkness will bring light.

I’ve received this “You are the light in the dark” message before in my very first Float session. Seriously, I appreciate when the messages I receive reinforce each other.

That being said, I still don’t know what this all means. I don’t know what’s coming. I don’t know where this is taking me, but I know that I am moving. I don’t know what it means to be a Goddess in this day and age, and I continue to receive messages from my Spirit Team that I need to embrace and honor my divinity. And I know that there is this Grand Plan for me — some big thing I need to accomplish. And that I have a shit-ton more to grow before this can happen.

And so with that, I welcome the darkness that is coming. I can’t say that I am ready. But I am waiting.